I'm feeling emotionally exhausted today! I miss my Grandpa. I miss my Josie. I miss my Aunts and Uncles who have gone before me. I miss being a child. I miss feeling hopeful and secure. I miss sleeping at my Grandma's and waking to the smell of breakfast cooking, the sound of my Mom watching Johnny Carson (and laughing), the comfort and security of a big loving family. I miss playing ghost in the graveyard, 4th of July cookouts and begging my Grandma and her sisters to let me play cards with them. I miss when a hug and kiss for my booboo really could make it all better.
We will bury my Aunt Glory tomorrow. She is actually my Great Aunt. My Grandma is one of 12 children, I grew up with them. My Uncle and I are only 4 years apart. So my "greats", as we affectionately call them, are like regular ole' Aunts and Uncles. I have been blessed to have a first hand account from the greatest generation to walk this land. The trials and tribulations, the simple (and greatest) holidays and birthdays, the days of baking bread and going without. As they pass, one by one, I am saddened to no longer have their harsh, but love filled, advice...to have their stories silenced...to remind me what is right, what is wrong...what it is to love someone, not because they are just like you but because they aren't.
There are only four of them left. My Uncle Hen, Aunt Ruth, Aunt Mary Jane and Grandma. My Uncle Hen's eyes light up when he sees my daughter, Aunt Ruth is becoming frail and forgetful, Aunt Mary Jane always called me watcha majigger (she lives in TX now) and my Grandmother is the most gentle, God fearing, strongest woman I've ever known. Her strength shown through when, as a child, I sobbed next to the casket of my Great Grandma (her mother) as she comforted me...but showed her gentleness as I wrapped my arms around her at the pulpit while she cried at the loss of her sister this Sunday.