Monday, May 2, 2011

Who are you missing today?

I'm feeling emotionally exhausted today! I miss my Grandpa. I miss my Josie. I miss my Aunts and Uncles who have gone before me. I miss being a child. I miss feeling hopeful and secure. I miss sleeping at my Grandma's and waking to the smell of breakfast cooking, the sound of my Mom watching Johnny Carson (and laughing), the comfort and security of a big loving family. I miss playing ghost in the graveyard, 4th of July cookouts and begging my Grandma and her sisters to let me play cards with them. I miss when a hug and kiss for my booboo really could make it all better.

We will bury my Aunt Glory tomorrow. She is actually my Great Aunt. My Grandma is one of 12 children, I grew up with them. My Uncle and I are only 4 years apart. So my "greats", as we affectionately call them, are like regular ole' Aunts and Uncles.  I have been blessed to have a first hand account from the greatest generation to walk this land. The trials and tribulations, the simple (and greatest) holidays and birthdays, the days of baking bread and going without. As they pass, one by one, I am saddened to no longer have their harsh, but love filled, have their stories remind me what is right, what is wrong...what it is to love someone, not because they are just like you but because they aren't.

There are only four of them left. My Uncle Hen, Aunt Ruth, Aunt Mary Jane and Grandma. My Uncle Hen's eyes light up when he sees my daughter, Aunt Ruth is becoming frail and forgetful, Aunt Mary Jane always called me watcha majigger (she lives in TX now) and my Grandmother is the most gentle, God fearing, strongest woman I've ever known. Her strength shown through when, as a child, I sobbed next to the casket of my Great Grandma (her mother) as she comforted me...but showed her gentleness as I wrapped my arms around her at the pulpit while she cried at the loss of her sister this Sunday.

I have no good way to wrap this post. The price you pay for the blessing of an amazing family is the pain you feel as they pass on, one by one.


SheShe said...

This is beautifully written, Carolyn. I thought of the same thing as I addressed graduation announcements this weekend. So many of them used to be a "Mr. & Mrs." and are now just one or the other, and there are too many people in my address book who are gone. I just try and remember how lucky I am to have had so many people in my life worthy of being missed.

I'll be praying for you and your family today.

Lana said...

Carolyn What a beautiful posting. To me life is like a Rose so beautiful to see and smell but to handle can be painful. BUT would we want to do without the rose just because it can be painful NEVER! Enjoy your garden of roses my friend. My heart goes out to you and your family for the temporary lose of one of your roses!

Amy Johnson said...

Such a beautiful tribute to your family. I'm sorry for your loss.

Darlene (SCS:akronstamperdpk) said...

Where did you ever learn to write so eloquently?? Yes, we are truly blessed with the large family we have and when each of their time comes it's painful ... but we will ALWAYS have the memories of the GOOD TIMES to share.
Your tribute is beautiful my dear and I'm so proud you are my daughter! God Love Ya!!

Kymberly Foster Seabolt said...

Just beautiful Carolyn. Made me cry.